I’m going to move to Texas, it’s a big, big state you see. With tall, tall trees and two-pound fleas, you can pretty well do as you damn well please.

There is a lot of horses in Texas, but the people like to throw the bull. With oil wells pumping, and their big butts bumping, they cook their steaks using cow chips for fuel.

They say everything in Texas is big, but with their I.Q. and the size of their shoe, the only thing big is the ten-gallon hat they are tipping to you.

Now, if you’ve never been to a Texas rattlesnake roundup, it’s really quite a hoot. But, their snakes are so small, they won’t do it all, it takes sixteen of them suckers to make one boot.

We all know that cactus grows slow, they take one hundred years to mature. That’s the way the Bush’s run their life, in a hundred years they think they’ll still be here.

Every Texan owns or carries a gun, some for protection, and some for fun. Texans love their pick-up trucks, with their guns in the rack and a case of beer in the back.

They use wild hogs for huntin’ dogs. And their guns are so big, they have to load them with post-hole diggers. You don’t see any coon skin caps in Texas today, their guns are so big, it blows them away!

Well, we wish the Texans a lot of luck, with their lust for power and the almighty buck. When their oil wells run out, and they will no doubt, they can come to the White House for a big hand-out.

By: Ned Nunn

&

Grandson Matt

April 2005